A Guard against QUICK remarraige.

I did not read back through the papers. After the judge's final orders. Last June.

Mostly because it pissed me off. And a fair amount because I am just stubborn as all get out. I just did not want to. It is frustrating and infuriating and saddening, to read in bold black print what a bastard I devoted 13 years to.

Completely. Lacking. Insight. The federal judge summed up in 7 months what I knew for years and years and years. I did not verbalize those thoughts. Growing up hearing about the dastardly deeds of my wayward father, I am hesitant to negatively communicate what is obvious to the general population.

I am a glass half full girl. I like to look for the sunny side of folks. Always. Leads to a happier life, not always obsessing about what everyone else is doing wrong, or at the least worse than I am. I like Dr. Pepper with my extremely healthy porridge for breakie. I love team sports. I want to win. I will not chuck a dark tantrum if I don't though.

For years I gave everything I had. Trying to make it work, we had babies, little treasures that I did not want to have the heartwrench of broken family in their sweet lives. He took all the sunny I had to give him and spat on it, walking away telling 'the holy ones' how flawed and insignificant I was. They believed him. I did not.

Completely.Lacking.Insight.

He forgot I was from Texas. I can earn a damn fine living without a man. I can raise happy well adjusted intellegent kids. Yes he took me to a completely new country. I thrived there. He took me to court in two countries. I won.

So I did not read the documents again. I had talked with my lawyer and thought I was all clear last December, apparently, I misunderstood. We are in fact, still married.

Bloody hell.

At least for the next 14 days. He has petitioned for divorce. He has had a girlfriend for a few months that I know of. Not sure how they get that all to fly in their version of the bible. I guess though if you can justify beating your kids and controlling your wifes every move, adultery doesn't seem to really be outside the lines at all?

Schmae.

I can not decide whether to accept the papers or be a pain in the arse.