In Love.

Is to be tortured and torn. Heart racing and swelling, anticipation running wild like small children released from school for the summer holidays. Followed closely by the crashing pitfall of devestation, the heart melts and wallows and oozes jellylike as it falls smearing a trail down the cabinetfront on the way to the floor, there it splats into fractured goo.

Pity being in love.

Two countries. Two homes. Only one continent has an actual house that I own (at least partially). But both are home. I feel peaceful in each for completely different reasons. It is bucketing down, the rain pours from the clouds, mother nature is squeezing out her kitchen sink sponge after wiping up an earthly mess, repeatedly. Were it not 9 degrees celcius, I would run not walk outside and dance nearly naked in the deluge. I absolutely love the feel of rain on my skin, living without rain for years in Australia has brought a slightly unstable obsession with the stuff. We have not guttering, or downpipes here in Texas, so the rains in bastardised fashion just falls off the edge of the roof. If it were 30 degrees I'd stand at the bend in my house where two rooflines dump into a corner and let it all soak through. I am safe here in Texas, my kids will likely not be inundated with cult garbage living in a different hemisphere, well he still trys but distance makes them see clearly the insanity of it without the damaging emotion. In Australia, I love mangos,mangos,mangos, and friends. I have endured the most stressful times of my adult life while living there, and had precious mates to pop out for a wee bit of a drink to help ease me through. Or shout me a cuppa. Walk through the forrest, play matches and matches of soccer with. Recline in the sand and not talk at all about the hell I was going through just soak up precious sunshine for days on end, knowing that salt, sun and sand are a therapy in themselves - at least for me.

I leave a bit of my heart behind everytime I leave, both countries, so many people I love in both, and each for there own quirks.